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The First Year (and Beyond): Marriage Thrive- Guide

Posted on August 27, 2025August 27, 2025 by Ralph Griggs

1. Keep Dating Each Other (Yes, Even If You Share a Bathroom)

What it means: Don’t let “Netflix and takeout” become your only date night.

How to do it:

• Try a new restaurant once a month — even if it’s just the taco truck by the gas station.

• Switch off who plans date night. Surprise counts.

• If you can’t remember your last “real” date, your marriage is hungry. Feed it before it starts chewing the furniture.

2. Learn the Art of the “Small Apology”

What it means: Apologies aren’t just for big fights. They’re for the everyday “oops” moments.

How to do it:

• “Sorry I was cranky, I skipped lunch” works better than sulking until bedtime.

• Don’t justify — own it.

• Use humor: “I apologize for my tone earlier. It was brought to you by a lack of coffee.”

3. Keep Laughing at the Weird Stuff

What it means: You already know each other’s quirks. Now, embrace them.

How to do it:

• When your spouse does that thing you usually roll your eyes at, make a joke instead.

• Have inside jokes you pull out during tense moments.

• Watch comedy together. (Pro tip: shared laughter is glue.)

• Every couple has at least one dumb story they’ve laughed about for years. Collect them like souvenirs.

4. Don’t Stop Having “Big Talks”

What it means: You’ve covered who takes out the trash, but life keeps changing — and so do you.

How to do it:

• At least twice a year, ask each other: “What do you want more of in life right now?”

• Talk about money, family goals, and what’s stressing you — before it blows up.

• Dream together, even if it’s small stuff like a road trip or backyard project.

5. Make Peace with the Annoying Habits

What it means: Some quirks are permanent fixtures.

How to do it:

• If it’s not hurting you, them, or the dog — let it go.

• Reframe it: “They never hang the towel up” becomes “Hey, I get to be the towel boss.”

• Pick your battles, then pick fewer.

• If you think you can change them, remember: they’ve had a lifetime to perfect this habit.

6. Protect Your “Us” Time

What it means: Guard time that’s just for the two of you.

How to do it:

• Say no to some invitations.

• Schedule lazy days at home on purpose.

• Have tech-free zones or hours.

7. Keep Score… of the Good Stuff

What it means: Instead of tallying up offenses, track acts of kindness.

How to do it:

• Say “thank you” for everyday things, even the small ones.

• Mention your spouse’s good points to others (they’ll hear about it).

• Keep a “gratitude note” on the fridge or in your phone.

8. Plan Fun, Not Just Chores

What it means: Life can easily turn into one long to-do list.

How to do it:

• Book something to look forward to every month — big or small.

• Do silly challenges: try cooking a meal using only ingredients starting with “B.”

• Play games — board, card, or make up your own rules.

9. Fight Smart, Not Dirty

What it means: Disagreements happen — do them well.

How to do it:

• No name-calling, eye rolls, or “you always/never.”

• Stick to the topic — no kitchen-sink arguments.

• Pause when it’s heated. (Tip: Time-outs aren’t just for kids.)

10. Keep Building Your Story

What it means: Your wedding day was just Chapter 1.

How to do it:

• Create traditions that are yours alone.

• Take photos of the “ordinary” days, not just the vacations.

• Look back often, but keep moving forward.

• In 20 years, you’ll be telling stories about “that time the cat knocked over the cake” — not your perfectly folded laundry.

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