You know the scene. You’re trying to tell your partner about your day, but they aren’t really there. Their eyes are cast down, lit by the glow of a phone as their thumb scrolls endlessly. That little sting of being ignored for a screen? It has a name: phubbing, or phone-snubbing.
Oddly, it might even be wedding planning stuff you are doing. That’s wedding planning phubbing. But what good is it to plan the perfect wedding if you are ignoring the person you are marrying to do it?
The phubbing habit sends a powerful message: “My phone is more important than you right now.” When it happens over and over, it acts like a quiet thief, stealing the connection from your relationship. Why would you share your deepest feelings if you’re just competing with an algorithm for attention?
Over time, you might stop trying. A distance grows, and you can end up feeling lonely even when you’re sitting right next to each other.
So, what can we do?
It starts with making a simple choice. Gently talk about it, not with blame, but as a team. Try saying, “I feel a little lonely when we’re both on our phones. Can we put them away for a bit?”
Create phone-free zones. Make the dinner table or the bedroom a sacred space for connection, not distraction.
This isn’t about hating technology; it’s about prioritizing the person you love. Putting your phone down is a small gesture that says everything: “In a world full of distractions, I choose you.”