It’s completely normal to feel nervous about saying your vows in front of family and friends. For most couples, this is the most personal part of the entire wedding—and suddenly all eyes are on you.
As an officiant, I’ve seen plenty of shaky hands, nervous laughter, and even a few “deer in headlights” moments. The good news? You can absolutely get through it with confidence and heart.
Here are a few tips that work:
1. Practice Out Loud
Reading your vows silently in your head is not the same as speaking them. Practice out loud, even if it feels silly. Doing this helps you catch tricky words, smooth out the rhythm, and build confidence in your delivery.
2. Break It into Small Parts
Don’t think of your vows as a performance. Instead, think of them as short sentences you’re sharing one at a time. Pause for a breath, look at your partner, and move on to the next line. It takes the pressure off.
3. Keep a Printed Copy Handy
Even if you’ve memorized your vows, nerves can wipe your memory clean. A printed copy ensures you won’t blank out under the spotlight. (Bonus: it’s a keepsake for later.)
4. Focus on Your Partner, Not the Crowd
Yes, everyone is watching, but your vows aren’t for them. They’re for the person standing across from you. Lock eyes with your partner—it’s like the rest of the room disappears.
5. Breathe Before You Start
Simple but effective: take one deep breath before you begin. It signals your body to relax and sets a steady pace for your words.
6. Embrace the Emotion
Tears, laughter, shaky voices—they’re not mistakes. They’re human. I’ve seen couples apologize mid-vows, but honestly, those are the moments guests remember most fondly. Don’t fight the feelings; let them come through.
Bottom line: You don’t need to deliver your vows like a TED Talk. You just need to mean what you say. With a little practice and a calm mindset, you’ll get through your vows—and more importantly, your partner will feel every word.